Wrap it up...

No erotic story, no play on words, just a simple little treat. It involves some carbohydrates, some sauce, some veggies, and heaps of steaming red meat. 

There is no sexual undertone, no naughty twist, just the perfect ingredients, the right amount of spice, followed by a quick turn of the wrist. 

There will be no tempting with clever placement of words, just a recipe quick and easy. There is nothing to steamy, to saucy, to dirty; and I promise there is nothing sleazy. 

So click if you want an easy dinner idea, no measuring spoons nor a cup. Just a tortilla, some meat, veggies and sauce, twist the wrist and WRAP IT UP!

Pastrami Wraps

Ingredients:

1 1/2 Pounds Pastrami

1/2 Cup Mayo Eyeball it, I said no measuring cup

3 Tablespoons Horseradish Sauce
5 Burrito Style Tortillas-Thin

Swiss Cheese

Tomato

Lettuce

Directions:

1. In a bowl whip Mayo and Horseradish Sauce together
2. Slice Tomatoes
3. Prep Lettuce, I like it a bit larger for a crunch factor
4. Heat electric griddle
5. Lay a heaping amount of pastrami on one side of the griddle
6. Spray other half of griddle with vegetable oil spray
7. Lay tortilla on the grill
8. Flip meat over pushing it into a nice pile that will fit perfectly in the center of the tortilla.
9. Lay 1-3 slices of swiss cheese on the meat
10. Flip tortilla
11. Remove tortilla from griddle
12. Scoop a large spoonful of Horseradish Mayo onto tortilla spreading distributing evenly
13. Scoop meat up of griddle and lay gently in the center of heated tortilla
14. Top with tomatoes and lettuce
15. Fold up and serve with a simple Red Skin Tater Salad or chips!

I want it.... I want to taste it and I want to feel full.

Sometimes you want it, but you want it quick and easy. You want nothing more than to reach that climactic moment when your eyes close and you swallow. And just the thought of reaching that moment causes your body to chill and your mouth water; but the euphoria is cut short when the thought of all the work plays out in your head. I want it, but I don’t want to work for it. I want the heat to penetrate me and the aromas to fill the air, I want to feed and I want to be full.

Pretty Damn Easy Scone Tacos

Ingredients:

2 Loafs of Rhodes Frozen Bread Dough. If you are ambitious you can make fresh scone dough.

2 Pounds Ground Beef

1 Jar of Wild Coyote Medium Salsa (In the refrigerated section of the produce department) For a cheaper alternative use 1 Large bottle of Pace Picante Sauce Mild, the one with the green lid.

2 16oz Cans of Pinto Beans

1 16oz Can of Black Beans

1 8oz Can Tomato Sauce

1/2 Cup Mild Red Taco Sauce

1 Package Taco Seasoning

Directions:

Lightly spray a large plastic bowl with non-stick spray. Place two frozen bread dough loafs in bowl. Cover with plastic wrap. I spray the under side of the plastic wrap with non-stick spray so dough does not stick. Let rise at room temperature as per the instructions on the package.

1. Brown ground beef, salt and pepper to taste.
2. Drain excess grease.
3. While beef is browning open and drain both cans of pinto beans and the can of black beans.
4. Add beans, salsa, taco sauce, taco seasoning and tomato sauce to the browned beef. Stir all together and reduce heat to simmer.
5. Heat vegetable oil in a skillet until nice and hot.
6. Grab baseball size pieces of dough, spread out flat and lay into hot oil. Flip, cooking each to a rich dark brown color. Lay on paper towels to absorb some of the oil.

Assemble:

Scoop meat and bean mixture onto scone and garnish with the following:

Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Shredded Lettuce

Diced Tomatoes

Green Onions

Fresh chopped Cilantro

Avocado

Sour Cream

Feeds six

My mouth waters, my stomach moans...

I lay sleeping, my sun kissed body tangled in the white sheet, my auburn curls tousle across the linens and cascade from the edge of the bed reaching for the bamboo floor. The smell of salt water fills my nostrils, my eyes open to the sheer drapes dancing in the door way of the balcony. The sky is painted with orange and pink as the sun sets on the water. A smile finds its way across my face as my mind replays the prior evenings events. As I stand I am careful to gather the sheet and wrap it around my bare skin, as I walk towards the balcony my attention is captured by the sent of what appears to be lime, garlic and oregano. My hand reaches for the drapes and pushes them to the side as I step onto the warm stone. There he stood, smoke rising from the stainless steel cook top, his beautiful olive skin moist and glistening in the sun. He turns, his eyebrow arches, “You must be starving” he says with a enticing smile.

Garlic Lime Chicken Fajitas

Ingredients:

1 1/2 Pounds Boneless Chicken Breasts, cut into thin strips

1 Medium Red Bell Pepper, cut into thin strips

1 Medium Onion, thinly sliced

1 Teaspoon Minced Garlic

1 Teaspoon Minced Onions

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 Tablespoons Cilantro

3/4 Teaspoon Ground Cumin

3/4 Teaspoon Oregano Leaves

1/2 Teaspoon Coarse Ground Black Pepper

1/4 Cup Lime Juice

1/4 Cup Orange Juice

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Flour Tortillas

Directions:

Mix juices and all of the spices, including salt into a small bowl. Add sliced chicken into the mixture and stir, evenly coating the chicken.

Heat oil in a frying pan, add chicken and liquid into a pan and cook chicken until lightly browned.

Stir in bell pepper and onion. Cook until tender.

Spoon into flour tortillas top with a Mexican cheese blend or feta cheese and fresh chopped cilantro.

You can marinate meat in mixture for thirty minutes, but who the hell has that kind of time.

That moment of bliss when licking butter from your fingers...

I salivate as I lift the feast to my lips. As I press my fingers into the grilled flesh the warmth from the juices run, tracing the palm of my hand. My mouth opens wide, my tongue gliding the guilty pleasure inward. My breathing becomes heavy and my carnivorous instinct takes over as my teeth penetrate the layers of sweet and savory. My mouth chews, my tongue pushing, my teeth grinding encouraging the orgy of flavor.

Grilled Pineapple, Ham and Cheese Sandwiches

Ingredients:

1-1/2 Pounds Brown Sugar Ham, Sliced

1 Pineapple cut length wise into 1/4” thick slices (Not from the can)

1 Loaf of Good White Bread (I use Granny Sycamores)

1 Package of Tillamook Medium Cheddar Cheese-pre sliced for convenience

2-4 Tablespoons Coconut Oil or Butter

Let’s get cookin.....

1. Pre heat electric griddle or non stick pan.
2. Cut pineapple to fit bread. One good slice is better than a bunch of pieces.
3. On one side of the griddle lay slices of ham, don’t be stingy stack it up a good inch thick. Heat until juices start to flow then flip over and place one slice of the Tillamook cheese on the heated side.
4. On the other half of the griddle melt butter or coconut oil and lay two slices of the bread down.
5. Lay a second piece of Tillamook on one half of the bread.
6. Place one slice of pineapple on the griddle, let heat for approximately 10 seconds then flip heating the other side.
7. Slide cooked pineapple onto the slice of cheese that is on the bread, by stacking this way we are preventing the pineapple juices from running into the bread and making it a soggy mess, genius right.
8. With a spatula scoop the heated ham and cheese up off the griddle and place on top of pineapple then place the second slice of bread on top.
9. Flip and grill until golden brown.

Cut on a triangle for added flair.

Something Sweet...

My bare feet scurry across the cool tile, I am headed for the fridge. Pushing up onto my toes I reach my hand into the treat bowl anticipating the complete serenity in wrapping my fingers around the Hersey with Almonds that I had purchased the day before. My heart begins to race as my hand fumbles through the contents, or lack there of in the ceramic bowl. I pull it from the fridge to find a single orange Starburst, a fortune cookie and roll of Smarties. I needed something sweet, not just any sugar rush, I needed to feel the euphoria of milk chocolate melting on my tongue with that crunchy nutty goodness.

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 Cup Butter, Softned
• 2 Cups Granulated Sugar
• 2 Eggs, Beaten
• 4 Cups All-Purpose Flour
• 2 Teaspoons Baking Soda
• 2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon
• 1/4 Teaspoon Nutmeg
• 1 Teaspoon Salt
• 2 Cups Grated Zucchini
• 1 Package Ghirardelli Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
• 1 1/2 - 2 Cups Walnuts, Chopped

1. First you will want to preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Spray cookie sheets with cooking spray or line with Parchment paper.
3. Next you want to cream your butter and sugar together in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy.
4. Add egg, flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt into the butter mixture, gradually; mix well.
5. Stir in the zucchini.
6. Fold in your walnuts (optional), and chocolate chips.
7. Drop by teaspoonfuls with two (2) inches between each cookie-- onto the cookie sheets.
8. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until golden
9. Do not over-bake, or you will not enjoy your cookies.
10. Let stand to cool for 2 to 3 minutes, then remove and place on wire racks to allow to cook completely.

If by chance any survive the night, put them into a ziplock bag and place in ceramic bowl on top of your fridge.